How 2: Trunk it when it’s borderline.
Everybody – except gingers – surfs better in shorts. Free of the neoprene shackles, it takes you half a second less to pop to your feet, you’re lighter, looser and happier. But how come some surfers (Elkerton, Shawn Briley come to mind) can surf in shorts when others are still in booties?
- Put on a bit of weight. A nice layer of subcutaneous fat will insulate you in the same way it does seals and whales. Be careful about supersizing every Value Meal though, you still want to be able to corkscrew through those rodeos.
- Channel swimmers rub their bodies with oil. This will wreak havoc with your wax and thus should only be employed for bodysurfing.
- Keep moving. Paddling around constantly might be socially unacceptable, but it’ll keep you a heck of a lot warmer. You might even catch more waves.
- Stop crying. Cold water might be your last chance at being gnarly. Assuming you’re never going to surf Jaws, braving cold water might be one of the only ways you can do something manly in the surf. If old people can cut a hole in the ice in Hyde Park and jump in for a daily swim in January in Speedos, you can trunk it in mid summer, you wuss.
- Cold water famously shrinks the urino-reproductory organs, but it does have other health benefits. It’s good for your heart, circulation, can relive pain and swelling.
- Above all, get a modern wetsuit top.
Kalani boy Chapman trunks it at Pipe coz he can. Photo: Timo
How 2: Video surfin
Everybody got a video camera these days, haven’t they? But making the Endless Summer 3 isn’t as easy as it first appears. Here are a few tips from L-Krtel’s Vincent Kardasik for better shooting:
- As you pan to follow the surfer on a wave, the pan should be smooth and fluid. Invest in a strong, heavy tripod to avoid wind issues.
- Exposure and focus should be on manual regardless of the quality of equipment you have. Auto modes (shutter/aperature priority/auto focus) are intended for elderly people filming their granchildrends’ wedding.
- When in the water, dont get in the way of surfers or other cameramen. Dont force the hook up with the surfer and collapse the lip, if you’re in position, it’ll all happen naturally.
- There are many highly talented film/vidéo camera operators in the surf world, guys like Chris Bryan, Larry Haynes, Mike Prickett and Daren Crawford. Watch and learn from thèse guys’ work wherever possible.
- Above all, do this for your own artistic reasons or enjoyment. If your goal is to make money, try still photography, or porn, instead.
Two Sumbawan groms arm wrestle valiantly while two creepy French pro surfers watch on. Photo: Laurel
How 2: Arm Wrestle
Arm wresting is a great way to settle a dispute, to win drinks and glory in the pub and is one of the few sports that is both physically exertive and played whilst seated in a chair. But it’s not just about brute strength or bicep size, as with so many important human-to-human flesh interactions, acquired technique is as important as God-given girth.
- If you are standing, get your right foot forward (if you’re wrestling right handed). This will help leverage much more than a straight on stance.
- Set up as high as you can on their hand, keeping your fingers high too. Keeping a high grip will give you an advantage.
- Come closer towards them with your elbow for more height and thus leverage, then prise open their hand and wrist using your height advantage. This is a popular technique known as ‘the top roll.’
- Cock your wrist (so that your own thumb points back towards you). This opens the opponent’s wrist joint, weakening them.
- As you bear down, bring them into the corner towards you, as opposed to side to side. This further opens up their joints, weakening their arm considerably. Side to side can also be dangerous, leading to injuries like a broken humerus.
- Win or lose, you’re going to be sore. Avoid tournaments if you suspect you might be surfing a long point break in the near future, or will need to engage in any other strenuous activity that requires repetitive motion of your right arm.